Addiction in the Family? -- Holiday Time Can Still Be Joyful
If you are working with others whose lives are being impacted by alcoholism—here is a simple step you can take to help them have a more peaceful, enjoyable holiday season
Dec 2024 • Patricia O'Gorman, PhD
Holidays are not always happy times
You are already aware that during the holidays, when societal messages tell us that we should all be united, happy, thankful, and joyful, another often-hidden group is dreading this time.
Whether you are:
A psychologist, social worker, counselor
An ICU nurse,
A teacher,
Even, if you work in law enforcement, you have witnessed the pain that results from those struggling with caring for someone with addiction.
Feeling shame instead of joy on our universally joyful holiday days
For these individuals, the fallout from active alcoholism in a parent or partner, a child, a grandparent, a close family friend, an uncle, an aunt, or someone that your client wants to celebrate with but cannot is just heart-rending.
The result for those affected by alcoholism is often feeling shame for not being able to make life better for those they love, leading to developing feelings of helplessness and inadequacy, and unfortunately, concluding that they are a terrible parent or an even worse child because they cannot change the one they love, who they know is also suffering.
The outcome for many is that:
During this painful, unhappy time, many try to avoid the hype of the holidays
They may experience it as a cruel joke because being happy during this time of year has not been their experience
They feel triggered by painful memories of their childhood disappointments due to a parent drinking, or drugging.
Experience a high level of frustration as they try to protect their siblings and, perhaps, their children from being disappointed again.
The result is that people often feel humiliated that they have not been able to change this cycle, even though they may work in the helping professions.
Making this the worst time of the year
Many children and adults feel that holiday time is the “worst time of the year" and that they “want it over, quickly.”
But this can be changed.
If this applies to some of your clients, or even you – try Al-Anon
Al-Anon is a free, international mutual aid fellowship comprised of those who have been impacted by a loved one who struggles with alcoholism.
In virtual and in-person meetings, support and shared wisdom are based on a 73-year-old model of structured mutual support groups. It has worked for millions and may work for those you work with and even for you.
Give the free gift of Al-Anon
Give your clients, and perhaps even yourself, the gift of hope for the holidays.
Through building fellowship with others who understand.
Discovering they are not alone.
Learning key concepts like detachment with love.
And together, creating a path that builds inner strength and resilience.
You’re invited to learn more ….
Visiting Al-Anon’s website -- easy to use and provides navigation to in-person and virtual meetings www.Al-Anon.org.
Patricia O'Gorman, PhD
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